Supporting Young Adults as they Leave for College: A Guide for Parents & Caregivers

For many families, the transition to college marks a major life shift—not just for the student, but for everyone at home. Whether it’s the first time a young adult is living away from home or the next step in a long-anticipated journey, this season brings a mix of excitement, pride, and anxiety. As therapists, we often see this period stir up big emotions for both students and their loved ones. Here’s how parents and caregivers can support young adults leaving for college thrive as they begin this next chapter.

1. Acknowledge the Emotions (Theirs and Yours)

Leaving for college is a milestone filled with anticipation. There is so much excitement, hopefulness, and sometimes grief. Your child might be feeling excited one day and overwhelmed the next. You might be, too.

Normalize the emotional rollercoaster. Let your young adult know it’s okay to feel nervous, sad, or unsure. Share your own feelings honestly to model openness and self-awareness. Ask your child open ended questions to help encourage dialogue and create opportunity for connection. Supporting your young adult leaving for college can be a beautiful way to deepen your relationship.

2. Encourage Independence While Staying Connected

College is a time for growth and self-discovery. Try to step into more of a coaching role rather than a directive one. Let them practice problem-solving, even if you could “fix” the problem. I am a big fan of allowing kids to experience natural consequences for their actions. Although it can be hard to sit back and let that occur, it can be a great learning experience for young adults who are making their own choices. This is also helpful for them developing their own problem solving skills & resiliency.

At the same time, don’t be too disconnected! It’s great to establish a rhythm of communication that respects their space but offers consistent support—whether it’s a weekly call, text check-ins, or Sunday FaceTimes.

3. Validate the Challenges of College Life

College isn’t just academics—it’s learning to live with a roommate, manage time, navigate social dynamics, and care for mental and physical health. Many students feel pressure to love college instantly, but the reality is that adjustment takes time. It can be very overwhelming to deal with all of these changes at once.

Let them know that homesickness, loneliness, and doubts are common. Normalize these feelings so they don’t feel like they’re failing when things feel hard. Remind your kids that you can have 2 contradictory feelings at once - excited and happy to be there, and also maybe sad and homesick for the familiar comforts at home. College is a complex experience and all of their feelings are valid.

4. Help Them Know Where to Get Support

One of the most empowering things you can do is help your young adult know where and how to seek help. Encourage them to:

• Explore campus mental health and wellness services

• Connect with peer support groups or resident advisors

• Reach out to professors or advisors when struggling academically

• Set them up with a therapist prior to leaving so they have an already established support person in place

Searching online for campus mental health resources is a great activity to sit down and do together prior to leaving. You can also walk with you child and find the student health center & mental health services center on campus during move in weekend. Let them know that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. There are so many resources available to college students, but it can be stressful trying to figure out how to access the resources. Finding the resources ahead of time can be a helpful way to ensure that college students know how to find them when they need them.

5. Revisit Expectations and Boundaries

It can be helpful to clarify expectations around finances, communication, visits home, and other boundaries before they leave—or as early as possible. As the parental and child roles shift, keeping open communication about mutual respect and trust will lay a strong foundation for your evolving relationship. I recommend having a family meeting prior to leaving to discuss expectations around finances & other boundaries, and allow for the teen to participate in co-creating these boundaries. The teen will feel an increase in ownership & buy in regarding the boundaries, potentially leading to increase in adherence. This can also provide an opportunity for increase in dialogue around the topics, which allows both parents & teens to be heard.

6. Support Yourself, Too

Letting go is hard. Even when you’re thrilled for them, the quiet at home can feel disorienting. Give yourself space to grieve the change. Empty nests are real and can be incredibly lonely, but you don’t have to be alone during this transition. Reach out for your own support if you need it—from friends, partners, or a therapist. There are great options for support groups for parents who are helping their kids transition into college, and plenty of online resources through social media.

You’re not just parenting a college student—you’re growing too! Going from parenting a child to parenting an adult is tough work. Be sure to get support for yourself as well during this transition.

Final Thoughts

The transition to college is both an ending and a beginning for parents & kids alike. With care, communication, and compassion, you can help your young adult feel rooted even as they reach for independence. And remember: supporting their growth doesn’t mean stepping away—it just means standing beside them in a new way. Allow your teen to stretch their wings & fly. They may stumble, make a few mistakes, and get messy. That is okay! It’s all about learning along the way, and trusting them & the work you’ve done as a parent over the years. The more you are able to trust them, the more they will be able to develop that trust within themselves.

Need Extra Support?

If you or your family are struggling with this transition, you’re not alone. Therapy can offer a space to process the change, manage stress, and strengthen communication. At Sunstone Psychotherapy, we support individuals and families through all of life’s turning points—including this one. We have a lot of experiencing helping college students & their parents navigate this journey, and we would love to help you too!

Schedule a session today or reach out to learn more about how we can help.

Freshman move in day at Texas State University!! Shoutout Elliott Hall 2009!